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Relatedĭuring an eight-year estrangement from her son, a Florida widow I interviewed sent him cards and letters, sharing remorse for her divorce and everything that hurt him during his childhood. It’s worth it to try to mend a damaged relationship or to repair harm, especially if you can make restitution or take measures to prevent it from recurring,” said Boston psychologist Molly Howes, author of “A Good Apology.” “The pandemic has given many people time to reconsider old regrets, relationships that ended badly and unresolved conflicts.” The only exception? “Don’t reach out directly when the person you hurt has asked you to stay away or if it would inflict further damage,” Howes added. He kept saying “I’m so sorry,” she wrote in The Atlantic, as “thirty years of pain and grief fell out me.” Decades later, she told her rapist in a letter how hard it had been for her to overcome. Brooklyn journalist Deborah Copaken was date-raped in 1988 before her college graduation.
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But even on a more personal level, reckoning, reconciliation and forgiving - while a slow process - can have a strong positive impact.
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Obviously, there’s a difference between the way Britney Spears and Janet Jackson were treated and institutionalized, state-sanctioned racism, discrimination and violence. Obviously, there’s a difference between the way Britney Spears and Janet Jackson were treated and institutionalized, state-sanctioned violence. He joked that it felt as if authorities were saying, “Oops, massacred 6 million of your people. When we were discussing East Germany’s apology to Jews for the Holocaust in 1990, a Jewish colleague of mine noted that the contrition didn’t match the massiveness of the crime. Of course, these apologies, too, can be greeted with heavy skepticism. de Klerk didn’t atone for 46 years of racism until 1996. America issued official remorse for interning Japanese Americans during World War II only in 1988 - 42 years after the camps closed - and South African apartheid leader F.W. Even though they may feel late, they carry symbolic weight. That’s probably why governments have offered long-belated apologies years after their crimes. It acknowledges failures, validates pain, helps victims feel vindicated and move on.” Yet someone with a high public stature apologizing can create a new norm. If you’ve done harm, silence implies it’s not important or the victim should just get over it. There can be many reasons for an apology.” Questioned about the pop culture ramifications, he continued: “In the case of Timberlake, even if the motivation for his public apology is to save face or protect his career, that doesn’t necessarily negate the good of his message. I consulted Connecticut psychiatrist Vatsal Thakkar, who said: “Things can coexist. What if he was just trying to avoid a public scene? When my mentor finally contacted me to come clean, I wondered whether his motives were sincere. His betrayal inspired my new book, “The Forgiveness Tour,” in which I interviewed religious leaders, therapists and people who suffered wrongs never atoned for. I learned this after my own falling-out with a respected mentor, a father figure for 15 years. But even the delayed confession of sins and desire for repentance can be healing. “I fell short,” he said, “and benefitted from a system that condones misogyny and racism.”Ĭritics in the Chicago Tribune and USA Today have called this belated show of remorse, obviously inspired by the #MeToo and Black Lives Matter movements, too little, too late. … We are all to blame for what happened.” Perhaps most notably, Spears’ ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake apologized on Instagram for his horrible behavior, atoning for telling a reporter they’d slept together, as well as for joking about Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. Also, Sarah’s creative director worked for Criss Angel in 07 and talks about how he cancelled on Britney a day before the performance !!! /u62qvm80e3Ĭomedian Sarah Silverman, for example, has come forward to publicly express regret for her MTV joke that Spears’ children were “the most adorable mistakes.” Glamour magazine posted: “We’re sorry Britney. Sarah Silverman speaks at length about her & Britney Spears at the 2007 VMAs on her new podcast episode and ends it by apologizing to Britney.
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